Many students suffer from high expectations of their parents. Of course, every parent wants what’s best for their children, but sometimes they can put more pressure on their young kids without even realizing it. Mothers and fathers often forget that they were once young students as well, and maybe they didn’t want to excel at their studies at that time either.

It’s completely normal for students to feel overwhelmed with their social lives, learning process, and personal relationships with their families. For many people, it’s an ongoing process that can last years, if not decades. Learners can finish college and still deal with the hopes and dreams of their parents later in life when they already have a career and a family of their own.

Unfortunately, there is no single magic advice that will resolve all of your issues in one moment. It might take a lot of time and effort from both sides of this issue. Luckily for you, you don’t have to go through this alone! For example, you can use professional paper writer services for your homework. You can spend this time talking to your friends or a professional.

So, are you feeling like your family puts too much pressure on you? Here are 7 tips on managing your parents’ expectations of your school performance!

What are the signs of high parental expectations?

Sometimes, learners might not even realize that they are under pressure until it’s too late. They might become burnt out, dissociate from their family, or even lose interest in getting a degree altogether. This is why it’s particularly important to look out for the possible signs that your mother or father might be pushing you to perform better at school.

  • Pressure to excel in all spheres of life. Often, parents want their children to be the best in everything, including school and extracurricular activities. For example, they might have been pushing you to excel in sports.
  • Very strict rules or schedules. Sometimes, when college students continue to live with their parents, they are forced to follow a lot of rules in their childhood home. For example, you might not be allowed to go out at night, go to a party, or just hang out with your friends.
  • Active involvement in your life. Usually, mothers and fathers who put a lot of expectations on their kids need to know everything that is going on in their lives, including the names of their friends, places where they like to hang out, and their academic schedule.
  • Comparisons to other people. There is always somebody that you are compared with, for example, a classmate with better grades.
  • Chosen career for your future. Those parents who have high expectations of their children usually do this for a reason, for instance, they want them to get a degree in a certain field and get good grades in certain subjects.

7 tips on managing high expectations from your parents

Now that you have noticed some signs of pressure on you, it’s time to learn some techniques for dealing with it. It can be pretty hard to shake off an image that your family has of you. But remember that your academic performance is your own journey, and you are responsible for your future. 

Maintain open communication

This is the first step towards shaking off all the pressure. You need to explain to your family that your views on learning are different from theirs. Having an open and honest dialogue can be the first step towards healing and getting the support that you need! Let other people in and let them know that you might be struggling with something.

Create realistic goals for yourself

Work with your parents to set realistic academic goals that are achievable based on your current skills and abilities. This can help prevent unrealistic expectations and reduce stress for you in the future. This can also create some structure for your plans and map out an effective schedule. You can even use some apps to establish a roadmap to success!

Focus on what you can do

It’s especially hard for students to maintain the same level of success week after week. There is also a concern about constantly getting good grades and the approval of your family. So, instead of always caring about rankings and grades, you better shift your focus to knowledge and skills! After all, your future career doesn’t depend on grades only.

Set strong personal boundaries

One of the biggest challenges for children is separating from their parents. It's crucial to set boundaries with your parents when it comes to their participation in your academic process. For example, you can let them know when you need space and privacy to study or work on projects independently without their constant involvement. 

Use all available resources 

This doesn’t include only books or class materials. As soon as you identify any possible issues with your learning process, you can start thinking about how these issues can be resolved. For example, here are some resources that you can use to your advantage and boost your academic performance:

  • study groups;
  • various after-school programs;
  • tutoring sessions;
  • online resources.

Prioritize self-care

Learners need to know when their body tells them to take a break from intense studying. Managing parental expectations can be stressful, so it's important to prioritize self-care. Make time for activities that help you relax and recharge, like exercise, reading, or spending more time with your friends. And don’t forget about healthy eating and getting enough sleep every night!

Celebrate your achievements

You don’t need somebody to tell you that you did a good job! Remember your self-worth and notice every achievement, no matter how small. Students often forget about their accomplishments, focusing on mistakes instead. This is a wrong state of mind that will prevent you from growing further in life.


Now you know about different strategies for dealing with your parents and their high expectations of your academic progress. Students often forget that it’s their life and that they are responsible for their future success. So, in case you have been already noticing some signs that your family is overly controlling, try starting a conversation with them first!